Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Some funny things to laugh at!

Well, I decided to make this blog funny, so I'll do it all in one post. These are some things I found on the internet ( of course) There may be a few missing, but it's because I don't want any #@$%*! language in the blog...

( You don't have to read them all, but they are all very funny and worth to read it all.)

Little golden books that Never Made It:

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

Bad Puns:

Cheesy Puns

For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're gouda enough, but we could find a whey to cream off the best ones.
I cheddar to think what they'll come out with next.



Drinking Cider

She enjoys drinking alcoholic apple drinks with her lifeguard boyfriend...
She likes a-cider beside-her sea-sider.



Old Kings

Old kings never die; they just get throne away.



Hamburger Hill (Haiku)
For Hamburger Hill,
General must muster his men:
So, he mustard them.





Weasels and Stoats

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A weasel is weasily recognised but a stoat is stoatally different.

Unicorns
Does every unicorn have a unique horn?

Arrowing

If you get shot with a bow, would you have an 'arrowing experience? Could it be said that you axed for it? Of course, that's not a knife thing to say, and I don't want any quarrels with you, so I'll spear you the details...

A man entered a pun contest in his local Newspaper. He entered 10 puns to increase his chances of winning. Unfortunatley,
no pun in ten did.

Two eskimos where in a boat in Alaska. It was getting pretty chilly, so they decided to start a fire in their boat. But of course, they sank. Moral: You can't have a kayak and heat it too.

Two Friars decided to start a flower shop down the street of where they lived. The other florist further down the street didn't like this. HE knew they were going to beat his shop. Both of them new everyone liked buy flowers from men of God. He went to the Friars's store and asked nicley to close their shop because he didn't think it was fair. They said no. He did this almost everyday, he even begged down on his knees, asking them to close their shop, but they always said no. So one day, he finally had it. He hired Hugh McDaggin, the town's biggest, strongest, toughest thug, to "persuade" them to close their shop down. And sure enough, after Hugh visited their shop, they closed down, thus proving ( are you ready...)
That Hugh and only Hugh and prevent Florist Friars!

(Kids, if you don't get this one, ask your parents, I didn't get it either till someone explained it to me.)

There was a starfish who, sadly, died one day. He went up to Heaven. He saw St. Peter their. He said " I'm sorry, but it looks like you weren't bad enough to get in to Hell, but weren't good enough to get into Heaven. But I'l make you a deal" He gives the starfish a Harp. He says " I want you to go to parts of you town and play this harp to people. I want you to change their lives with beutiful music, make them change their ways" So thats wat the Starfish did. He went over to the park, and started to play. He played for and hour, but he saw no sings of fish's changing. He went to the bar, and played for an hour. But still, he saw no fish change. He even went to Sam Fram's Disco party. He even played for TWO hours their, but still, no fish changed. He went back to St. Peter and said " I played every where i could think of, and I played my best, but I saw no one change!" St. Peter says to the starfish "Oh, but, where's the harp I gave you?" Starfish yells "Dang it! I LEFT MY HARP AT SAM FRAN'S DISCO!!!!!!!!"

If you don't get a joke, leave a comment and I'll explain.

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